Wednesday, November 28, 2007

Now In Technicolor!

So I have a terrible problem with woman I meet. It's not that I can't pick them up, its the staying sober long enough to take em out back and fuck their brains out. You see, typically at a bar, I will have a few Guinness, feel invincible, and meet a lass. We hit it off, and then I wake up in a gutter in Boston wondering where the hell I went wrong. The Wild Rover is cock-blocking me all the time.
So I decided to train, and train hard. I will just have to build up an incredible tolerance to my Guinness. I have been working 60+ hours a week, building my funds for such a grueling training process. It's going to be costly you know.

Paddy Barry's, warm the tap, I'm taking the rocky road to Dublin, and you're comming with me.
I feel like Rocky, only more coherent when I'm pissed drunk.

And ladies, when I complete my training, get ready for the best goddamn 13 seconds of your fucking lives!

Monday, November 26, 2007

It's been so long!

It has been a long time, months, since I have posted here. I AM a busy man you know, with the drinking in the pubs and all.
Let me fill you in. So far, I have moved from my former apartment to my parents home in the hopes of saving some cash for my Exodus in February.
I now work all days except Sat, and I have developed a strange attraction to plus-size girls. No longer do skinny girls do anything for me.

I really want a girlfriend. I could have one in just a single call. I have my pick of MANY girls, however, none of them are my perfect type. None of them are "Curvy".

I am looking for a large girl, massive tits and ass. Belly? I certainly don't mind. Hey, theres nothing wrong with me. Look at Kiki Kastle and try and tell me you didn't fall in love with her look. Tell me you didn't, and I will call you a giant homosexual.

In other news, I discovered that Asians have a mating call. When I see an Asian girl walk by, I make a loud "Ooou Waaah" sound. They ALWAYS look! Proof is in the pudding guys. Try it.